dispatches from the pop scene...minus the corn syrup.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

But, Really, Folks... Ryan Seacrest Isn't Gay

In a heart-tugging interview with People in their new "Celeb & Diet Fitness" issue, American Idol host Ryan Seacrest revealed the following while describing how he blew up to 180 lbs. as a teenager:


"I was overweight, because I used to come home and eat a cookie sheet pan of nachos and watch Oprah every day of my life."

You know, just like every other red-blooded heterosexual kid does.

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8 Comments:

  • At 2:45 PM, Blogger Paul said…

    Ryan? A fully fledged mox? Well he does have his own clothing range and always looks insanely good. And seems to like Teri Hatcher. Which is just like me (I was a whore for Lois and Clark) - well except for the clothing line. But i did cut the sleeves off a Debbie Gibson tour shirt to make it retro cool once (it didn't work) :( I totally lost my train of thought. Thezapping, Out!

     
  • At 4:29 PM, Blogger MoogaBoo said…

    Wait, say that again Ryan... "a cookie sheet pan of nachos"? What the hell does that mean? That he would take out a cookie sheet, as opposed to a bowl or, say, a napkin-lined basket, and pour the nachos out on it, spreading them evenly across into a perfectly even layer? Girlfriend, if that's not a classic case of gay homosexual teenager's OCD, I don't know what is!

     
  • At 5:21 PM, Blogger xolondon said…

    I want pictorial evidence of a 180 lb Ryan. He is so transparent! Merv Griffin probably wished Ryan had thicker flanks to grab onto when they were... nevermind.

     
  • At 11:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    well, if you wants 2 look like oprah, you gotta eat like the bitch.

     
  • At 7:20 AM, Blogger Adrian said…

    So is America that bad that (if it is true etc.) Ryan cannot actually say anything?

     
  • At 10:34 AM, Blogger J'ason D'luv said…

    Adrian, yes and no. It's not that he can't say anything... even though American Idol airs on FOX, the most conservative-minded network in the U.S. (which, naturally, also hypocritally airs the most exploitative and sensationalized reality TV programs)... in fact, there's no actual proof that Ryan Seacrest is actually gay. *cough*

    BUT, I firmly believe the only reason high-profiled, A-list celebrities that are closested don't come out is because no one has done it yet in America. There isn't that trail-blazer yet who was like, you know what, I'm gay and there you have it. Ellen did it, but she was just a B-list TV actress at the time (although she's now one of our most respected day time talk show hosts)... So it's kind of the fear of the unknown and, of career suicide. After all, even after Ellen came out, though there was much positive media attention, her sitcom at the time was canceled the next season.

    So, in conclusion, if Ryan Seacrest were to reveal that he does indeed like the long end of the flat iron, he could turn this country's perception that gays are vain, over-manicured, coiffed pansies around.

    Oh, wait.... shit... Can we get that hot guy from Lost to come out instead?

     
  • At 8:37 PM, Blogger The Duke said…

    Nice speech.

    I know someone who worked with him at E! -- Seacrest isn't a gay man. He's a lipstick lesbian trapped in a man's body.

     
  • At 8:02 PM, Blogger The Brit said…

    Poor Ryan "Dick Clark" SCrest molestee consoler (puke). He just can't cut a break can he. Jeez. Stay in Narnia or come out of the closet - either way - Christmas Hits by the fireside can;t be far away.

     

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