It seems like only yesterday when trusty sidekicks in all things pop Moogaboo
sat down to sift through 10 years of jams to come up with the Chart Rigger
list of the Top 40 Singles Of The '00s
—yet here we are already doing our first Best list of the new
Sure, radio let itself get clogged with chum on occasion throughout the past 12 months (see our 10 Worst Singles Of 2010
roundup). But here we're highlighting the songs that didn't
make you want to go shoot up a strip mall every time you heard them. As usual, the singles listed need only have reached their peak chart position within 2010, even if they were technically released the year prior.
, "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love"
"Remember that time Usher went on E! and talked about getting a colonic? Well this year he gave his career a colonic, flushing out the r&b sound people stopped liking and infusing his colon—I mean songbook
—with more current, classy dance beats. I loved it, and isn't that all that matters?"
"Thank Christ I have no recollection of that. Poor Usher can't sing this song live to save his life, but hey–welcome to the world of having a Max Martin
-produced hit. This driving, out-of-nowhere surprise was a radio life jacket amidst a sea of 'Airplanes' and 'Billionaire' this past summer."
, US #4
, UK #7
"I'm still stunned that the UK treated the Atari-on-the-dancefloor greatness of Head First
with all the warmth of Madonna
's frozen-over Arctic snatch. Oh, well. The duo got the last laugh by scoring two Grammy nominations."
"Goldfrapp were totally having a Flashbeagle
moment and I love that it might win a Grammy. 'But I still wanna know/ how she got in the door' is also an adorably bitchy pop lyric."
US DANCE #1
, GER #32
, UK #47
8. Adam Lambert
, "Whataya Want From Me"
"Glambox could probably sing pages of the phone book and make it sound interesting. But this jam proved that with the right songwriters and right material, he could suddenly go from being good to iconic. Too bad there weren't more tracks like this on his debut album."
"Note to Lambo: be P!nk
, SWE #8
, US #10
, "Only Girl (In The World)"
"As far as the current wave of nu-dance goes, only RiRi's really gotten the essence of house music's pulsating, hedonistic abandon. No jerky stops and starts for her, which is what makes 'Only Girl' so irresistible: it's almost menacing in its insistence that you dance."
"God bless RiRi and her tireless work ethic. This jam had its haters from the get-go, but I loved the throbbing hotness from the first listen. Seriously, slap on some good headphones, crank it up and try to tell me that bass at 1:16 doesn't make your soul shake."
Charts: US #1
, UK #1
, AUS #1
, CAN #1
6. Kylie Minogue
, "Get Outta My Way"
"There seemed to be such a rush of love for Kylie's Aphrodite
right out of the gate that it appeared to have dried up by the time second single 'Get Outta My Way' arrived (except on the U.S. dance charts, where dreams—no matter how irrelevant—still come true, kidz). Still, there's no denying this was the giddy standout on an already A+ album."
"Kylie's career is getting to the point where there aren't many options left between 'completely spent' and 'desperate', so I love that she managed to do something that sounded somewhat effortless and fun. This was the most-played song of 2010 at chez Moogaboo, so of course that means it had
US Dance #1
, BEL #5
, UK #12
, "Wonderful Life"
"If the New Millennium conjured up Lady Gaga
as its answer to Madonna, then surely Synth-Pop Land needed a modern-day Pet Shop Boys
, too. The drama-soaked beats of 'Wonderful Life' deservedly made Hurts a buzz-y act in 2010, while the Arthur Baker
mix only added extra sparkle to the duo's cool factor."
"These babes won me over with their stylish sense of drama. If they don't make out with each other next year, I'll be totally over it! But yes, it was all about that Arthur Baker mix with it's rattling polyrhythms and Shannon
, GER #2
, SWI #4
, UK #21
"A Danish pop act making an album of songs inspired by late '80s/early '90s Italo house act Black Box
(a staple on the stereo D'luv
during the teen years)—why, how could it fail? Don't answer that. I effing love this album, and 'DJ' never ceases to make me grin from ear to ear."
is waggin' a sassy finger at Alphabeat from her perch up in heaven! (I know she's still alive, but I bet she has an all-access pass to universes both real and
, UK #116
3. Cee Lo Green
, "Fuck You!"
"I liked this song. Then I loved this song. Then I was over this song. Now I kinda love it again. It could have been higher here on our Best list were it not for the sheer novelty factor. Like, can you picture Cee Lo having another solo hit this big (without an expletive in the title) ever again?"
"Well, no, I can't. But who can say for sure? Maybe he's the next Kylie! And even though he seems to have scammed this idea from the inimitable Lily Allen
, I'll give him points for upping the bile and attaching it to an even funkier faux-Motown beat."
, AUS #5
, SWE #6
, US #9
2. Katy Perry
, "Teenage Dream"
"And now we get to the song that both perplexes me and fills me with whimsical butterflies to no end. I absolutely, hands-down love 'Teenage Dream' and think it's one of the best pop songs in recent memory. That said, when I think of Katy Perry and her Jesus tits, I wanna wrap both hands around her neck and spare the universe from ever having to hear her low-rent, bottom-of-the-barrel live vocals again. But look—I'm just chalking the quality of this jam up to maestros Dr. Luke
and Max Martin
. If a real
singer (say, Kelly Clarkson
) had belted this out, it would have been #1 here."
"I agree, Kelly could more convincingly portray the protagonist of 'Teenage Dream'—a forty-something, out-of-shape suburbanite yearning to recreate the exploits of youth with the lanky new paperboy. What a missed opportunity. However, Katy's bubbly personality and bouncy boobsiness still manage to put this one over the top. Pop heaven."
, POL #1
, UK #2
, GER #6
*POP SINGLE OF THE YEAR*
, "Dancing On My Own"
"No one does stunning, addictive dancefloor heartbreak as deftly as Robyn. And while the broad made us wait nearly half a decade for new material, 'Dancing On My Own' made me realize that patience is indeed a virtue, and that crying under a strobe light is the most bittersweet kind of joy."
"Oh, Robyn—you glittering disco sad-sack. I love your highly effective heartbreak tunes. Truth be told, I never thought you'd top 'With Every Heartbeat', 'Be Mine!' or 'Show Me Love'. Then you go and do it again with this, the perfect soundtrack for shedding tears beneath said strobe light while that hunk you just met in the men's room makes out with some ho across the dancefloor. Go on breaking my heart."
, US Dance #3
, UK #8
* The 10 Worst Singles Of 2010
* The Top 40 Pop Singles Of The '00s
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2009
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2008
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2007
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2006
* The Best Pop Singles Of 2005
Labels: Adam Lambert, Alphabeat, Cee Lo Green, Goldfrapp, Hurts, Katy Perry, Kylie Minogue, list, MoogaBoo, Rihanna, Robyn, Usher